"Smoothing" my way to better health...or am I?

I succumbed...

...to the smoothie fad.  "Why" I hear you ask...or maybe you didn't, but I'm going to tell you anyway.

A health check is why.  One in which I refused to jump on the scales - it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise that my clothes haven't shrunk in the wash or been taken in by some gremlin tailor in the middle of the night...every single item!  I know the problem here...too much munching and not enough moving.

However I allowed myself to be tested on everything else.  

Eyesight - that's been pretty rubbish since I was a teen - however who knew getting old would improve it  - long sighted vs short sighted are meeting somewhere in the middle...check!

Hearing - pretty average for someone my age...huh?  What do you mean my age?  Oh, that's right, I'm almost 50, so...check!

Lung functionality - pretty flippin' amazing.  I think I lucked in for genetics...because I ain't no deep sea diver or ultra marathon runner...so yay...check!

Blood pressure - average - and I'm happy with that ...check!

Sugar levels - just where they are meant to be, so can I grab the lollipop sitting on the desk?  Yes?  Fantastic...check!

Cholesterol...come in cholesterol...we are waiting for you...are you there?  What do you mean high?  Is this something to do with the too much munching and not enough moving?   Of course I love meat and diary...what do you mean I need to reduce levels of fat?  I'm not liking this...FAIL!

So armed with new nutri-bullet and loads of smoothie recipes off the internet...I moved (see - I can move) to the supermarket with my shopping list of what appeared to be semi palatable ingredients to introduce myself to the world of meal replacement.  One or two a day...I thought.  Let's see how we go.  Especially as I have just spent a fortune on some pretty pungent green "stuff" - super greens - which may or may not (but more likely may) be the next fad wonder food.  Just like the kale I brought.

Look at all that "tasty" green goodness

And armed with goodies, I mixed up my first smoothie.  Surprisingly it didn't look quite like the one in the picture...

I can't even tell them apart!!!

I tried my first smoothie...on camera.  I think I hid the reaction pretty well, as I am sure that when I took a swig of the spinach/banana/super green/almond milk concoction a part of my soul just upped and left my body in disgust...and I don't think it's coming back until I ditch the seriously bad tasting green stuff.  

Poker Face

Over the course of a week I experimented.  The better the smoothies tasted, the less goodness was going in.  A cup of kale dwindled down to half a cup, down to a smattering, down to...kale? What kale?

Ah yes, kale.  The healthiest food around according to some internet sites.  So I should be embracing the kale craze.  But seriously, hats off to all you health conscious people that steam, juice, grill and crisp kale, because I truly believe if Hell was cultivating a food source, I'm pretty sure it would taste like this.

My taste-buds are trying to process all that green "stuff"!
Now I know what I would look like if I was in shock.

So now I'm in grave danger of knocking back calorific, fructose laden milkshake equivalents if I don't come up with some better green recipes that don't involve loads of kale, spinach, and that super green "stuff".  I don't want to go to my next health check and have my lollipop confiscated.

What I would love is to hear of are some healthy smoothies that won't break the bank or my taste buds.

When people ask for comments and don't mean it...this isn't one of those occasions. Please help me!  Seriously...PLEASE.  I have a little bit of soul that's waiting to come home.

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